adakua

And Friendship? Forget it. I quit. I don't want friends- don't need them- and don't want to count on them. After I graduate I will forever be free for fucktards like them. (Well I have people who care about me, but the so-called friends I use to call them are over.) Being an introvert is so hard when you go to extravert surrondings.

Lets see all the good things that have happened so far: .....well besides mastering the anatomy- I finally came up with the story that I long to make for my project. So nothing besides nerdy stuff.

This is exactly me (from a yahoo QA):

I'm so ashamed of my behaviour and actions, everyone hates me, i'm no fun to be around, i have no nice clothes, no job prospects, i have completely screwed up everything good in my life and had so many plans, i have no idea how to change what i have done in the last 6 months, i cant and i really just want ot kill myself. The only reason i'm not is because i know how much it hurts people, but i cant see myself ever being normal again........i am seeing a counsellor and taking meds and none of that is helping too much, i just cant see myself ever getting better, and i could have done so much with my life and had great friends and people, i'm an absolute crazy freak have you been like this and changed it?

                                                     -by unknown

Summer is flying by and I'm wasting it. Figures how me being introvert seems to neglect time. I should be more aware that I'm going to be a senior in highschool, but I just don't care. lol

My mind has been going insane without drawing so I've tried writing to at least keep it occupied. I used to write stuff back in fictionpress when I was extremely natively young with no experience with real storytelling. But I loved to write stories from my imagination. Some of them were actually good but I couldn't get the will to finish them. So I decided to preserve the stories for a bigger story all in one. I just have revealed to the public yet. hehe
I stopped writing when I felt that urge to draw again and have more knowledge of mature stuff.

Also I want to read Anne Rice's Vampire Novels. I've seen the movie Interview with a vampire but I suppose the novel would be nice to read.

So I went to take my permit for the 2nd time and failed it. It's always that I miss 7. I knew my dad was going to be stressed and I was right. He calls me stupid and should be embarrassed for not thinking common sense. But I'm just a horrid test taker. It'll never stop. I'm not stressed about it because I knew I was going fail it. I just wish it'll stop so I can drive. I'll just try again and study no big deal, maybe I can even request the paper form. It's just that you see people younger than me and gotten their permit on the 1st try it makes me stupid. Again I'm a horrible test taker- I could probably do the driving but with tests.... I'll struggle.

When I was taking it I already miss 3 so quick and I suddenly my heart was pumping. I was getting pressure when I lost my train of thought when I missed 5. As that happens I panic and pressed the wrong answer which made me missed 7. Computer tests are stupid.

Well I'm going to study some more and try again. And it's not just the permit test- it's the Sats, Math tests, and other tests. I fail them. (well not all of them but majority). I believe it's a disorder. *sad*

 This is why I'm an artist and a simple minded person. (and a failure) :(


 

No! Not now. 2009 is not looking so great; Farrah, Carradine, and now Jackson.

Michael Jackson will always be human to me not matter how many surgeries he took, or how many times people called him names, and filed trials they sent on him. He was a beautiful artist and had talent. He was one of the great things in this world. I'm surprise that I don't feel any sadder about this. In my mind I'm crying my heart out, but my face looks like nothing happened. What a confusing world. The trash called pop celebrities (Jonas, High Musical Musical, Hannah Montana) are able to live, but the greatest idols die sooner. At least he doesn't have to worry about the dangers of what the future holds. 50 is somewhat a young age to die but he achieved so much I'll say he lived live to the fullest.

I wish him well in the Great Beyond. What ever it may be. I don't believe God or any deity would send such a innocent soul to hell. If anything he's alot better than the Christian frantics that preach nothing but damnination. They should go to hell for ruining people's lives. Ugh.

I'm content somehow. An hour ago I slightly cried in the inside but was so shocked. He's gone. Just like Heath Leager, Aaliyah and the rest of everyone. But I am content, because Michael Jackson is at peace. Now he doesn't have to worry about the dangers of the future. He doesn't have to worry about the annoying haters or how to live his life- cause he's gone from the worries of this world. So I'm okay with that.

RIP KING of POP. You'll be greatly missed. But will live in my heart always. :D I'm great to live in a world to know such a person like you lived in my lifetime. It's been a pleasure.

 

The sad thing is I don't get paid untill after 6 weeks, but its worth it away from the house. :0 Darn invest training.

And a car. :(

Oh well.